"So What Are You Doing Post Grad?... Ooooh"

As of today I am 18 (or so) days away from graduating college. After four years of late night study sessions, back to back performances, ethnographic research projects, and really cheap Mexican food I am graduating Augustana College Cumme Laude (ONE C IN PIANO LESSONS) with degrees in Vocal Performance and Anthropology.

And like my many well meaning baby boomer acquaintances who keep asking, I have no idea what that means.

There seems to be this myth that people who graduate college have the rest of their lives set up: They'll get a job right out of school with a track to an even better one down the road, marry their college sweetheart, move to their dream city and ~settle in~. You're expected to have a direction the minute you switch your tassel over, but what I'm seeing in myself and my peers is not so much a PLAN as ideas.

Oh sure we're all applying to grad schools, applying to sixty jobs (forty of which are at coffee shops or bars and ten of which are unpaid internships) and telling people the life plan, but these are the perfunctory and defensive responses we give those who eagerly enquire about our life's direction. Amongst ourselves however, we tell each other our dreams of groundbreaking internet companies, founding a non profit organization, or writing our first novel. We all have these ideas and things we know we WANT to do and we may even know HOW to do them, but we have no concrete road to getting there. While amongst each other we're not shy about that fact, when asked our plans by others... we hesitate. And then we get insecure and think why should I be special? Why should my ideas pan out, there is nothing remarkable about me, I am a simple girl from a simple Chicago suburb.

These are not productive thoughts. But they're the thoughts that keep people from doing what they really want to be doing. They're thoughts that have plagued me more and more the closer I get to graduation, and luckily, they're thoughts that my age group are starting to take control over. We all have them; to be human is to have doubt. But instead of letting it push us into a career we aren't passionate about, my generation is actively pursuing the things they want to be doing. This isn't to say that people of other generations just haven't been doing this, but my peers have a certain... air. Like, the world is upside down, trump is president, the economy is dead, the planet is dying, so why not just... go big?

I feel as though until now I have done an excellent job PRETENDING I was one of my generation in this sense. I got degrees that interested me rather than degrees I knew would get me immediate jobs, and I have managed to live life pretty in the moment. But it wasn't until I was faced with the prospect of leaving the safety net of higher education and starting this crazy career that I realized I had yet to become my generation's own brand of fearless. I had dreams but I wasn't really taking steps to make them happen. I was all talk, no action until I realized being ACTION was the FUN PART. Cobbling together a performance career yes can be stressful and unfulfilling, but at the same time every door is open to you if you're willing to do the work. And if there is one thing I have never been afraid of, it is work. With this attitude in mind I finally sat down and made a post grad plan that is not only PRACTICAL, and makes me feel like I am on the right track, but is healthy and makes me happy because I am doing what I want to do. So for everyone asking, HERE IT IS:

I am going back to work at Blue Lake for the summer.

I am taking a year off.

I am moving in with my mother.

I am getting a Job.

I am saving money.

I am putting my acting and singing resume out there and marketing myself.

And I am turning my damn cabaret act into a damn book proposal.

These are the goals for this year. And I am very excited and happy to get to work on them :)

Low quality pic of my high school graduation. Look at that little clueless honor roll child. God bless.